Monday, August 30, 2010

晴天霹雳

前几天回到巴生,已到了家,爸爸告诉我,大舅不幸地在医院过世了...



人有不侧之风云,回到家时传来大舅与世长辞的消息…想当时小时候,大舅经常看顾,买东西哄我,母亲曾告诉受益的我,大了以后要懂得回报大舅,如今我已迟了一步,不但无法回报他,见他的最后一面也没有...只能在心里祷告... 大舅,您安息吧~

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Future plan

Doing my FYP very soon...
this means tat i stepping out of uni life soon...
wow... cant believe is so fast.... Graduate soon lo...
my fren which is same secondary year but enter Uni earlier 1 batch than me alr prepare everything for graduation d lo...

Therefore... its time to plan...
i got many things wan to do in future...
n i still doubt with wat job i gonna end with...
but i got my own desire job to do as i think before that....
so i get myself list down wat to be done in future...

1st ... abit impossible... but is necessary to jot down:
Futher my studies: 2 option available...
in Biotech or music...
mostly i stick with Bio... if no my dad is going to kill me... coz he alr told me to follow him in "music path" or music industry

2nd
i juz be piano instructor la.... at the same time persuade my Licentiate Diploma...
currently juz at Associate lvl.... din manage to sit for exam bcoz tat time chose to "give up" n start uni ....
well .. although is abit late now... but is nvr late when u still have the basic ....
so... i will get my Licentiate by 2012/13

3rd
i plan to establish my own business... n also partnership with my fren which also plan to do his own business (if he manage to do so)...
so i got 2 business...
focus on my business...
i gonna to make my dad's dream come true...
i hope to establish a music school on behalf his name...

4th
if i manage to get a DSLR... i will also involve myself in photography things...
which can be another complimentary business...



will wat i hope to do comes true?
we shall see in the future ya.....
of coz i will hardwork
wish me luck =)

Friday, August 13, 2010

mind thoughts..

my obsession towards photography has been stronger than ever...
i like to shoot n being shoot as well..

well... i m hesitate of get myself a DSLR even now is a juz planning to have 1 soon...

having a camera have lots of pros.... to other ppl than ourselves....
lots of cons ... to ourselves than other ppl...

take my compact camera as example....
pros are: can shoot important things, can capture important moments.

but the cons are derived from the pros..
Since u'r the cameraman... ur camera will have others picture more than urself...

what will u think if other ppl don offer to help u take ur pic using ur camera n u'r belong to that "group member".... only noe to ask help them capture this thing with them capture that...
but at least make others happy... which is a very generous thing benefiting others...

well... still very sad lo... u all enjoy take ur own pic in campus in group... din even bother to offer help me take lo.... feel like so "stranger" u noe...coz normally we ask stranger to help us take group pic...
bt nvm.. i knew u all don like me n hate me.... so i not dare to join in take together even i wan too (if u think tat y don i be so passive, come n join us take if i wan myself)....
well... i scared u all will think something like : yuck... disgusting ppl wan to take we us... n when the pic taken together... the smile on ur face will be unnatural n fake...
the best way is to wait ur kind offer to take for me... at least it will hav better result...

besides, i u all love to take pic with good looking ppl n i m so ugly.... i m juz a redundant thing jek... well i dun really mind bout tat.....tats my fate afterall.... and that is my only "usable price" to u all...
i hope u all can at least appreciate it la...
wat cause this happen today is bcoz myself... i cant blame ppl... i have a bad attitude n freaking weirdo action tat cause u all so ANTI-me.
bad attitude i know how to chg... but that weird action u cant blame me for .... spine problem ma...
once again... i will keep on chg my bad attitude n action so i can be more "un-anti" by ppl... juz giv me time to proved tat...
i hope to have more pic of myself n with u ppl so tat after graduate got good things to see back..

now the question in my mind:
i wonder wat will be likely if i hav DSLR....
shoot more ppl pic ever n no longer have myself inside?
i will definitely more disappointed than ever.... thinking thinking...


Saturday, July 24, 2010

SELF-AWARENESS~

this post is drafted quite long time ago d... but i m hesitate to post this... i dun wan ppl to noe... but somehow...
if let's say i gone with the wind next day... my impression to ppl is like... always a weird freak...
no chance to explain... so i juz post nia lo...

since long time ago... i noe there's some of my fren feel antipathy to my attitude and weird characteristic...
maybe they are not too understand about my anatomy...they doesnt noe my condition, coz they treat me like normal ppl =)
i din tell them bcoz i dun1 their sympathy and treat me like abit disable ppl...

the main thing in me is my weird movement...
i noe this is an excuse but ... somehow... if ur spine is screw with 2 titanium pole and 10 screw with nut.... u wont be sit at a stationary position quietly without movement like a normal ppl does... tats y i keep on move during lecture class or anywhere.... tat thing inside me was making me very uncomfortable...

1 of the screw's nut detached from the pole... n this may effect my nervous system... causing me a nervous shock most of time... so ... i have those weird sudden movement tat is very "ugly"

nextly,
i may look acting cool... in fact i didnt... i hate myself for being so ugly (in sense of bad skin complexion n acne problems) ...tats y i m some sort of down almost all time... i dun like to smile doesnt mean acting cool... is bcoz i look damn ugly when i smile... i prefer in a neutral expression

i also knew that the way i convey msg is not dat good ... i dun have confident in myself, duno how to express my thought in good way, in better words, in more direct manner... so always end up saying something lame n shitty ...
moreover im not tat good in acedemy... my brain is full of shit stuff...preferably describe brainless, stupid, useless, noob...
the only thing i like is enjoy reading factual stuff and doing music... too bad my surgery has cause my lost of my 4th finger agility.... the worst thing is it sometimes cramp... thats y i noe i cant success in music field... i chose my second interest which is biology...
i dun like calculation thing ... my brain is as simple as like tat... cannot think very curve, u trick me with some tricky words... i will be K.O. by it... i m str8 minded i guess...
thats y i do bad always in exam... cannot use my brain efficiently... but i still in passing grade always....

although i look normal, like any guy around... but the fact is... i m not..
but i always try to chg ... juz what i done maybe not good enuf....
i will still continue improve myself... juz give me chances to chg...

pls dun hate me n isolate me ...

Friday, June 11, 2010

Year 3- third n semi-final

surprisingly, i din failed any of my subject.... i juz get a D... holy shit... CGPA reduced dramatically bcoz of this... m i considered lucky to have the candidacy to continue my Y3S1? i wonder...

Wk 1.. well... bcoz 2nd week we are having our biological science club... n still dun have a complete outfit yet... so... on the weekends... me n him went to KL-S.Py , MidV, 1U and some other place to buy.... well... luckily i manage to get a not bad 1... haha...
on this week...there'r lots of recruitment drive n programme for freshmens... included talent time... YS "encourage" me to join... initially i m not courage enuf to register but i did it for "it" unfortunately though the no.1 rules for the competition is:

1.all contestant must be a undergraduate student

in fact is i m juz year 3... still a undergraduate... but the ppl at the "counter" say is juz for Y1 student... how "sad" =x



Wk 2... so "gan jiong".... wednesday is bio science nite d...XD they are doing preparation 99...


speech by chairman n Dr Han... i was shock when he mention my name on his speech =|





show starter: the fashion runway...
the models are: by sequence...
Chu@n Yeh Foo, Jeffery L@i, Kenny M@h, J@yru Aw, S@m L@w, Eiko Ng@n, Lele P@ng, L@u Yoke Fu@ng, Josheen M@h, Coleen T@n
tat's a best show of the nite to me =)

performance by karaoke champion n 1st runner

solo by me and duet with puiyee

best dress award candidates:


Waltz dance .. the best shot from my lousy camera... not bad huh?




edited pic brightness =.=

to be update again after collect pics from other photographer ..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Summary, self-evaluation and performance in Y2S2 =|


Glad that this sem has come to a stop point.... looking forward for new start nex sem IF got chance...
Summary:

after 3 months of long holiday finally reopen~ this sem seems to be more relax for initially... however it is not tat easy lo ...

the first week:
we had an "impromptu" trip to KL... n this is a sudden decision n quite insane thing to do for the sem... because there's no class ... haha...
we went to S.Pyramid to shop for cloths =P ...
we go there by train and our train departure time is 5am !

week 5 is the most exciting week for most ppl: Chinese new Year!
....
n the following week... test every week till week 13 =.=
Gosh...

week 13 is a memorable week~ wee~
we have a vacation to cameron
(to be add on/updated...)

self-evaluation:
well, is not so good lo.... this sem... i think that nt much improvement... sometimes still ...
esp my interpersonal and intra personal skills...

the way of communicating most of the time not "mature" enuf... maybe i alr get used to "childish" way to make fun of myself to ppl during secondary... but now since in the adult stage d... i should greatly reduce this kind of "non-sense" rite... so i will try to chg this....
that is y i feel tat ppl around me do not like to respond to my response.... =|

i still wish to be a bit fairer than now bcoz... it will make me looks "cleaner", my poor skin complexion and skin problems (pimples scars/mark) will let ppl perceive as "dirty"
stereotyping problem- culture n communication, some ppl may perceive black ppl "dirty" bcoz they look black... sames goes to me... i may let ppl think i m dirty in fact i m not...
U could not blame me for being "dirty" bcoz i m gifted with such poor skin... hope u can understand...
so... hopefully there's improvement in me in this aspect i hope...

in acedemic performance.... should be more focused... i lost attention easily... n cant think too further... (my mind mayb narrow sometimes)
like Bernard say.. i should think out of the box, or more than a box, during dotA-ing with them... same goes to acedemic ....
i need to change the method of study , base on understanding is not enuf... we have to able to link it to various of direction n aspect ... to be more effective in study .... i think... from wat have i faced now...

i need to be more organized too... otherwise things will be mess up.... especially my pc destop... the files n assignments... speechless*

For my exam, my performance is not so good... Esp Genetics n Molecular bio... almost totally screwed up.... done it badly i think.... i m very worry i manage to pass or not....
i don1 to resit... it is embarrassing n sort of waste of time....
so if i do FAIL in these papers.... i gtg ... leave n move on .... =(
n probably the gone of my existence will make "them" more happy.... esp that 1 person... very obvious the avoidance n un"song" response... which will make me more even sad bcoz that kind of way treating me....


Sunday, May 2, 2010

Screwed up on exam =|

Genetics paper 30th...

wat the .... theory part ... use a bit more time d... calculation no time finish .... when it left oni 30 min... i notice tat got 2 question not yet do but juz drafted it alr.... shit lo....
hopefully it can passed la... ><
revision start from 29th morning till 30th 3 am... morning 9 pm continue to 12pm... exhausted man.... but the outcome is not so desirable... =( nvm...

but then... that night .... i din expect my fren will celebrate my earlier 21st bday.... coz normally they will make 1 day earlier for others....

after the exam... i was depressed with wat have i done in answering.... i go to net cafe to play till 7pm + n take away dinner ...
too full after ate my dinner ....

n my fren tell me 9pm later having tea session ... then the time is 8pm now... i was so tired that i quickly sleep for a while.... i wanna wake at 8.45 who noes 8.35+ my fren wake me up... i was so blur till 10 something... coz i not yet recover my "spirit"

at tea session, my take the cake out n put infron me... i was stunted.... n energyless to say a word... not even an "thank U" appreciation.... shit... i m too blurred... u all may tot i pretend to duno.... but i really duno at the first few sec... n after that it make sense n i noe is for me...
i n look at u guys (energyless) with that kind of ... expression....
sry guys... i not purposely make u all feel strange/weird by my moody expression....
tat time i was really... soul-less

worst thing is... they wan me to try seaweed.... coz they noe i dun eat.... but i tried to eat n not to let them down... however... i m toooooo fulll bcoz of my dinner... not yet digest + head blur blur...
tthe taste of seaweed trigger me to vomit easily bcoz i cant stand that unique smell...

n i try to swallow twice n almost throw out.... lucky i din.... but it is such a bad bad bad impression..... OMG.... u guys must be hate me for behaving such ways....

aiks.... i hope u all dun hate me la.... SRY ya....
if u any1 of u all read this... assume u nvr see it... hope u can forgive me by heart ya...

Thx a lot anyway for that celebration.... i very grateful to have ppl like u all around me....
n also sorry for my "bad respond"


Molecular bio paper....

moderate well-prepared ar.... but.... perform badly....
consider screwed up as well.... mind bcum empty.... probably confused with the fact... holy....
aiks.... hate myself ><... brain contain toooo much crap d.... occupied memory space...

i maybe need to repeat d this subject.... but hope God will bless me as usual... juz a pass is enuf =|

haiz....
anyway... i may consider stop Uni life if i failed la... time left not much... time to work at the same time enjoy while waiting "the end" of the world.......

mayb my absence will make "the world" better i think... so .... stay or leave.... let The Lord deside ...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

so called pro -"played by ears" in youtube- i prefer to describe as "selfish"

erm... after viewing ppl's comment...."do u have music sheets of this piece?"
they will replied "no, i played by ears" ....WTH

well... recently many n many pianist in youtube don1 to share the score they get on pop song...
they claim that they played by ears... well... i can tell u tat mostly of them cant.... if can.. it is imposible it sounds so "organized"

for example:

user: http://www.youtube.com/user/roughjustice34
song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhyjDPNw214

do you think he does? coz if played by ears... instrument part should have almost in range keys...
but this dun hav....

song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zy3kcb7Uhs
> this user i m nt sure... but he is kinda looking while playing

there's more user... i will considering list them down in future

come on guys... wats wrong ? afraid of ppl play better than U? music is made for sharing...






how i noe? because i can play by ears and i noe wat my ears listen to.... based on the way they play... that is obviously memorizing of the sheet i can feel...

even i can play by ears.. i hav to admit tat sometimes it maybe hard n i need to refer sheets... if there's available download lo...

tats make wat's the different between me n normal pianist

anyway... i was hoping for opportunity for performing to ppl ...
indeed, i maybe not qualify enuf....
but some ppl may think i m good.... probably is bcoz i non-reliable to score unlike normal pianist tat require sheets for any songs they play...
for me, pop songs about 80% i can play by active-learning play...(using hearing) n sometimes 20% of the song may be too hard to play by hearing... coz i m not "perfect"


Friday, April 2, 2010

@@

haiz... nex time i better mind my own business....
ask him few thing he treat that as annoying...
sua lo...
tot himself very lengzai... but is true... he really are...
tats y my word is not convincing... coz i m not lengzai...
u go ahead folo ur lengzai buddies ba...
some day may u realize wat r u doing... is ?