this post is drafted quite long time ago d... but i m hesitate to post this... i dun wan ppl to noe... but somehow...
if let's say i gone with the wind next day... my impression to ppl is like... always a weird freak...
no chance to explain... so i juz post nia lo...
maybe they are not too understand about my anatomy...they doesnt noe my condition, coz they treat me like normal ppl =)
i din tell them bcoz i dun1 their sympathy and treat me like abit disable ppl...
the main thing in me is my weird movement...
i noe this is an excuse but ... somehow... if ur spine is screw with 2 titanium pole and 10 screw with nut.... u wont be sit at a stationary position quietly without movement like a normal ppl does... tats y i keep on move during lecture class or anywhere.... tat thing inside me was making me very uncomfortable...
1 of the screw's nut detached from the pole... n this may effect my nervous system... causing me a nervous shock most of time... so ... i have those weird sudden movement tat is very "ugly"
nextly,
i may look acting cool... in fact i didnt... i hate myself for being so ugly (in sense of bad skin complexion n acne problems) ...tats y i m some sort of down almost all time... i dun like to smile doesnt mean acting cool... is bcoz i look damn ugly when i smile... i prefer in a neutral expression
i also knew that the way i convey msg is not dat good ... i dun have confident in myself, duno how to express my thought in good way, in better words, in more direct manner... so always end up saying something lame n shitty ...
the main thing in me is my weird movement...
i noe this is an excuse but ... somehow... if ur spine is screw with 2 titanium pole and 10 screw with nut.... u wont be sit at a stationary position quietly without movement like a normal ppl does... tats y i keep on move during lecture class or anywhere.... tat thing inside me was making me very uncomfortable...
1 of the screw's nut detached from the pole... n this may effect my nervous system... causing me a nervous shock most of time... so ... i have those weird sudden movement tat is very "ugly"
nextly,
i may look acting cool... in fact i didnt... i hate myself for being so ugly (in sense of bad skin complexion n acne problems) ...tats y i m some sort of down almost all time... i dun like to smile doesnt mean acting cool... is bcoz i look damn ugly when i smile... i prefer in a neutral expression
i also knew that the way i convey msg is not dat good ... i dun have confident in myself, duno how to express my thought in good way, in better words, in more direct manner... so always end up saying something lame n shitty ...
moreover im not tat good in acedemy... my brain is full of shit stuff...preferably describe brainless, stupid, useless, noob...
the only thing i like is enjoy reading factual stuff and doing music... too bad my surgery has cause my lost of my 4th finger agility.... the worst thing is it sometimes cramp... thats y i noe i cant success in music field... i chose my second interest which is biology...
i dun like calculation thing ... my brain is as simple as like tat... cannot think very curve, u trick me with some tricky words... i will be K.O. by it... i m str8 minded i guess...
thats y i do bad always in exam... cannot use my brain efficiently... but i still in passing grade always....
although i look normal, like any guy around... but the fact is... i m not..
but i always try to chg ... juz what i done maybe not good enuf....
i will still continue improve myself... juz give me chances to chg...
pls dun hate me n isolate me ...
although i look normal, like any guy around... but the fact is... i m not..
but i always try to chg ... juz what i done maybe not good enuf....
i will still continue improve myself... juz give me chances to chg...
pls dun hate me n isolate me ...
